Ready for Action

Hi, I’m back. First of all fuck off Geldof. You are such an old boy – network- and grumpy old man-wise. Don’t have a party for all your boring old mates, guilt-trip us into coming and then moan if some of us nick the booze and go and find a better party. It’s what we do. And personally, I’d rather eBay be my main man than some gold-toothed free-with-his-punches geezer down the Seven Sisters Road anyday.

Now, last week and the week before were very busy for me, because I had to stop staring into space and actually get my arse into gear as it was the launch of – da da da! – Joe Action! Hurray! I’ve no idea if I’ve mentioned this before but Vanessa (my pink shoes mate) and I have written a one-man show for kids’ parties. Joe Action is a comic book hero come-to-life, a brave but bumbling adventurer.

We had our first proper party on Saturday, and then our launch on Sunday. Our Joe Action for both parties was Bryn. He was great, won loads of fans (young and old, going by the enquiries about “evening” parties) and made me feel a little teary as I saw the fruits of nearly a year’s work finally live and very kicking. Now it’s really down to business as we try and drum up enough work to earn the fortunes we so deeply deserve. So any of you looking for the ideal party entertainer for ages 5-10 (and 25-45 too) just let me know.

Added to this there was also the small matter of the Radlett Art Society Summer Exhibition, which knocks the Royal Academy’s out of the ring. I guess most people look at their pictures and decide on what to submit, given that I didn’t have the time to do this I came up with five titles and submitted that, then realised with a week to spare that I hadn’t done any painting and have been going like a demon trying to get the work done in time. With any luck the old boy will have photographed my efforts and you can see them pretty soon. So, again, if you have need of any art just let me know.

Who needs eBay to pimp when you can just hook all by your very own self?

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