One wheel on my wagon

I now have two keys missing from my i-Book – back slash and return. Back slash fell foul of Rosa who can pick the key off a keyboard in under ten seconds, it pinged off and went God knows where and the return has stuck and the only way to work it is to prise off the button and wiggle the little rubber bit underneath.

Although for a while I just pretended that I was Joycean in my stream of consciousness and felt no need for the prosaic spaces in between my prose, the typist in me (my mum thought I should have a trade to fall back on) just can’t stop reaching to the right immediately after typing a full stop.

Also doctor, the area under the screen seems to have developed a ‘spilt coffee malaise’ where at first a tiny dot of brown stuff was, now there seems to be a whole mass of it. I don’t know whether it is a bacterial infection or wet rot, but it is unsightly and annoying. However I still love it to pieces and it’s much better than Steve’s silly old metal thing, so I’m still rollin’ along and singing a happy song.


  • My (ex) cat used to sit on top of my iMac (because it was warm). He was half Siamese and prone to occasional sickness. Twice he vomited directly onto my keyboard. Each time the keyboard came out slightly damaged. For about a year I used a keyboard at home that had no Return key and no ‘ key. There were some others missing, but they didn’t seem so important. I got used to missing the apostrophe, though I used to guage whether the person at the other end would think I was illiterate or webliterate, and sometimes I’d put them in at great length by cutting and pasting them from the Keyboad utility.
    Then I got around to buying a new USB keyboard, which cost, I think, 9.99. But it was a PC keyboard, which worked, but didn’t sing on the iMac. So I swapped the iMac for a PC. Who says I don’t have perfect logic.

  • I suppose we used to tell these stories about cars… or… or what? Were there other complicated devices in our lives that we loaded with so much meaning? Never fell in love with our TVs, did we? Or our calculators? Toasters? A machine obviously needs to be pretty complex for us to get properly attached to it…

  • Actually, you really confused me there, because when I started reading I thought you meant that we used to talk about cars, but now we talk about cats. We do have a computer sickness. In response to the current wave of computer modding, I am modding a Dansette.

  • Dnt wrry Jllit, yu gt usd t it. Aftr many yars f bing withut th ‘ ‘ ky and th ‘ ‘ ky. yu dnt miss thm.
    Much Lv


    (I’m als missing th ‘ ‘ ky)

  • Ddi ouy ese taht iratcle ercenlty ttha dsia ouy loduc tpu het sttler ni yan drore nad ti wlodu tilsl eb blrdaea?

  • On I tndid’, tub I ees hatw ouy mnae. Sa a tchou-tpisyt, hits si learly rdar ot od.

  • Tlcaualy, ti tnseod rkow.

  • Or mybae it is olny if you jsut rerargne the itneranl ltteers? or smeohtnig?

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